Haiz.. Sigh.. Malaysia Gov.. Wat are u trying to do???
Truth be told, I no longer know where I want to start this topic… But I just need to get it out of my chest before I sink lower into depression… Hahahha…
So UPU results were out today.. To those with no clue what UPU is it is the release of out local university placement… So yeah.. Well, I took STPM and really studied my ass for it.. 1 and a half year ppl… Pretty much months of studying from 11-5 a.m., going to skool, well sleeping in classes.. (ermm penat ba).. coming home to sleep, tuition and the whole cycle repeats itself.. Anyway, all those for one exam!! 10 papers to actually determine your life and your future!!
And all those passed, results were out.. Got 3.67 out of 5 subjects.. Thats like A- so ermmm if u tink gud, then gud lar, if u tink buruk then buruk lar.. But I was grateful and harbouring hopes lar.. Apa tidak.. Bukan senang ba itu… Hahhaha… So applied for UPU.. 8 choices.. I made sure I mix like a lot of courses so I will not be given funny funny stuff.. Chose things like medicine(no hope lar if Malaysia), dentistry, actuarial science and law…
Then the first flaw of this system… They expect the form 6 students to wait 3 months to know their results just so the matriks students who finishes their studies in May can join our intake.. N we also have to compete with them… I shall not go into the lengthy debate on why Matriks students always get higher pointers than STPM students for I am aware a lot of you already know that…
Btw.. I do seem rationally calm rite?? Hahahha.. So.. UPU results were out today.. Shocker?? For me?? I dunno… I have been screwed by the government too many times to actually be shocked…(People who know me way back understand) But I was very angry and ermmm… **&%^%%$#%$# lar… They gave me my 90th choice if ever lar ada, computer science in UNIMAS!!! So, my question to the people in charge is, am I really that stupid that the only course I deserve to get is Computer Science!!
Well.. It got worst.. I heard news that frens of mine with lower pointers got this course and that course.. First choice summore.. Engineering, medicine, etc.. Which leave me here..
Firstly, I don’t know what I’m feeling now.. I think I cried the most ni today.. I think ada 4 hours lar none stop!! Not proud of it but not ashamed of it either.. I had dreams since I was 3 but those dreams kinda changed along the way.. (From studying overseas time time lepas SPM, then to just studying local time time masih study STPM, then change to dentistry time lepas result) n now this… If u all can fathom how much this actually means to me so u mayb sumhow get wat I feel lar… Hahhaha… N now I’m suck with either accepting this course they give me or saying no to a place in local university.. Computer Science people is the course they gave me!!!
Anyway, I knoe there wil be lts of comment saying.. Take it, then appeal, go private, scholarship, etc.. I’m doing it now.. Waiting for responses… Got rejected by sum d.. (U knoe if the reject shop ever needs a spokesperson, I think I layak ni)… So now, I have 2-3 days to say yes or no.. What do u guys think?? Coz seriously rite now, My brain cells died and my heart cells are too… Hahahha….
To all yg dapat courses of their choice ka.. Or sumting they din ask for but better than me.. I’m not gonna tok bout it.. Lagi bikin sakit hati ja… Above all, U know what I want now?? I want GOD to tell me his exact plans for me!! I want an explanation of why I get the course that I get!! I want someone to look me in the eye and really tell me that I’m not good enough!! I want to be get what I deserve and most of all I want my dreams!!
Sigh…
